Friday // turn in keys
Sunday-Monday // Ocracoke for graduation
Wednesday - Friday // Raleigh for NCDLCN
Monday - Friday // Ocracoke for NCCAT
Sunday - Sunday // Family of 30+ down the street
Sunday - Monday // in-laws celebrate 4th of July
Saturday - Saturday // Family of 15 down the street {yes that's overlap on the same weekend}
^^ during this week, 2 days on Ocracoke for NCCAT presentation
So this morning, I'm in bed with my computer and cup of coffee and just trying to settle. Settle my body from travel. Settle my eyes from lack of quality sleep. Settle my anxiety from trying to socialize with so many different groups of people. Settle my marriage, because after a whirlwind school year, we've had little time together this summer too. These aren't complaints, just the truth of the matter. I know "we're all busy" is commonly thrown-out when people rehash their schedules, but sometimes, you just need to see it or hear it and be validated that it's okay to be tired, exhausted, and sick of trying to keep up.
Reflection is necessary for educators. And this year, I've taken to twitter regularly to capture my thoughts, what I've learned, the people I've connected with because blogging just takes conscientious effort. And I often wonder "Who is really going to read this blog anyways?" Twitter is a dialogue, where as I feel my blog is a running monologue.
Well, reflection isn't for others, unless you consider the benefits your students receive from a teacher who comes into the classroom with a clear mind, purposeful goals, and energy to give the class. Much of this year, I came back from conferences, seminars, meetings, or other travel and had not processed that I had learned, spent that time away responding to work emails/text/calls, and becoming sleep-deprived. It made me irritable. My students weren't getting the best me, even though I pursued these opportunities to be better for them. Some of that can be blamed on my own mindset, but I believe lack of reflection and internalization of those experiences is a larger component. As someone trying to keep anxiety in check, bouncing from one conference to another, teaching in between, maintaining a healthy marriage, hosting visitors on the weekends... this isn't healthy.
I vow to be a healthier educator next year. No, I won't be counting calories or steps. But I will go to bed earlier. I'll refuse to feel guilty when I need me-time, and say NO to plans. I'll go on dates with my husband. I'll blog, even if it means no one reads it but me. Because I cannot effectively do my job if I'm in the library tired, feeling I've given all I've got to others, or guilty that my relationships are suffering at the expense of PD. Attending all the PD I can in a school year will not make me richer, but I have countless opportunities to enrich the lives of my students on a daily basis. That's what matters.
So if I don't have enough time for reflection, I will make time for it. And if I cannot, then I need to step away from so many conferences, seminars, twitter chats, etc. My intentions can be good, but if my performance lacks, then it's time to reevaluate.